Episode 9 Trip to Iowa
I recently was invited to go to Iowa to speak at there anivisery and was astounded at how scuh a small area can have so much recovery. In this podcast I am going to share with you what I shared with them and hope that you find something useful in here. I really enjoyed myself and love speaking about recovery. Obviously since i have a podcast about it.
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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November 8th, 2007 at 12:39 am
great talk…love your message…very funny stuff …thanks
November 13th, 2007 at 10:12 am
Hey
I heard ya honey… I heard ya
I found myself transported to my early ettempts to make it all fit to make it be ok and to stay in control of my recovery when in actual fact I could just let go
I did not know that I was so far away from my centre, so far removed from honesty. it was revealed slowly and now I look back and can see myslef screaming the serenity prayer lol
whats really scary is… more will be revealed and I have no way of knowing how mad I am still, becasue I had no idea then… jeez I am so glad to know I only ever get what I can handle
always here in love and fellowship
space
November 13th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
great show, really enjoyed hearing you speak at that meeting.
November 20th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
ok this is genral post one the subject can we have a general post section please?
my topic is being real in spite of the fellowships candy coating
I have been feeling restless and discontent and not because I have a desire to drink or any other big book reason. I am just me and today i feel the reality of the world and its pressures to be someone to strive to be what is expected to be nice and friendly and loving and tolerant and well I just don’t feel like it and some how I understand its ok.
I simply face myself again and look at the areas of my personality that I have pushed down to be acceptable even in AA I know I am not perfect and that if I don’t accept these feelings as they surface they will come out in ways that will hurt me and others.
So a look and see I am jealous and selfish sometimes and scared to have perfect self expression and be who I am destined to be. Because it means taking responsibility for who I am and my words define the reaction of others and they are powerful so I have to be careful and mindful but today I realised I had no way of hiding and I am filled with an energy i usually betray and tell myself i am not allowed to feel. Its a freedom again and its fierce but i know it healthy because its what i am.
It is amazing to me that we can fool ourselves into being well and being whole when there is clearly many areas of me that need healing. So to heal i must show them to the light and risk rejection and accept myself in this condition of hurt and fear and then wait patiently for the pain to stop.
I am that i am and I understand how my actions define me and that today i take a stand against my own fear and say ok cindy you have negative feelings and you will be ok you will return home again and love will surface once more through the pain.
so I make a statement and say you know what i am not feeling the joy I felt just yesterday and I know its part of the journey to honesty and its scary because I can see that life is sometimes is not as AA would have it but it means i can deal with it on the terms i have to create as i go. There is no manual there are just signposts towards recovery.
I have grown this day because i saw the disease and i did not fight i let it come over me and accepted it and it is another step into the light even through a darkness that i ran away form into recovery. But that what we resist persists and I understand now i have to move through and not reject any feelings and take the path of no resistance and wow its relief because I can let go when i look at it when I really see who i am am and its ok with Cindy I grow
I hope th is recieved as it is sent as a message of healing even in our darkest hours we are becoming
space
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
God bless you for your honesty. Keep Safe, Keep Sane, Keep Stepping!”
Keep The Faith
Sherry
Aka:SoberlySherry@yahoo.com
February 11th, 2008 at 1:44 am
From Iowa with Love!!! Bruce Wayne/John came to our Area’s 25th Anniversary function and I can assure you he didn’t get rich from speaking fees. From Dallas clear to Iowa, that is truly service work.
His message is awesome and the podcast is another way to fulfill our primary purpose …carry the message to the still suffering addict.
There are days clean that the suffering addict is me and I am grateful for all of you. Don’t know how anonymous I need to keep this, but this addict will always be grateful to you and your traveling partner that you came into our lives via that function.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
liked the part about the 4th and 5th step.
i agree that sometimes its not the act of reading it to someone that gets you the results. i’m pretty open also- so everyone knows my shit if they’re willing to listen.
but to look at what’s put on paper- in your case the fear column- in my case the lack of thought for others- these things can be very overwhelming when you all of a sudden see them. even if you thought you had some recovery prior- this stuff can put you at a starting point for new and real change.
anyways… really enjoy the podcasts.
keep it up,
dan h
March 17th, 2008 at 8:13 am
this by far was one of my favs, gave us more of YOU!! cause you werent speaking to us, you were in front of an audience off in Iowa and yes although you talk alot about yourself which i LOVE, this just let me know a little more about the guy in my headphones that makes a hell of a lot of sense and has really helped me-KEEP ROCKIN, your a badass and yes a sexy voice:)